We're Just Friends, Honestly
by iGloomy
Summary: A very quick oneshot with a crackpairing that you'll NEVER forget. Some people call it Tweeters... But I call it TWUTTERS. :D Rated M for sex and spit. Hahahaaa. Spit. Oh. Under aged drinking, too.


It was dark. And not the normal type of dark that anyone can describe to you. You have to _feel_ this dark with your mind, body, and soul. It took a moment for a young, skittering heart to realize where it was. A soft brush of an outsider's hand across his chest sent a jolt of energy up the boy's spine, exiting his body in the form of a small twitch, which only made the stranger giggle. But no, the hand belonged to no stranger, rather, another blond boy who had grown up with the nervous teenager underneath him. The two were friends. Yes. That's what they were. Nothing more.

"Well, gosh, Tweek… You gotta take off your sweatpants if we're gonna do this. I can't really just go through the fabric like a magician." The voice, quite obviously belonging to Butters Stotch, waivered a bit. He was drunk. Well, so was the jittery Tweek, but he remembered why his head was spinning so much in the first place. It was all _their_ fault. Craig and Eric. They had forced the two blonds to come together and offer themselves as an escape route for one another for just a night. They were both assholes. They had both hurt the younger boys… Craig had been fawning over Thomas again, and dammit, Tweek knew that he and the black haired boy weren't together, but it had just hurt so much to see it.

_'Can I do your laundry sometime?'_ He says. _'You wanna hang at my place tonight?'_ Tweek saw the glitter within his eyes. He knew the hidden meaning of those words. Suddenly, the shyness inside of the twitching blond evaporated with the heat of his anger. Those words were supposed to be for _him_, not some bastard who couldn't control his mouth!

With his inner Zen reached, and then set on fire, Tweek wiggled his way out of his pants, easily kicking them out of the bed and to the floor. With those removed, both he and Butters were finally completely bare underneath the covers. There was a pause within the angry blonde's head, in which he wondered whose house they had ended up in, anyway. Was it his own, or was it Butters'? But really, neither of them could have cared less. For all they knew, they were in Kyle's bed while a party raged below.

Without a word, the taller of the two blonds took the initiative to straddle the smaller, dipping his head down to press his lips to the unusually still throat of the other. It was strange to not feel him jittering like he had been just a few minutes ago, Butters thought, but if he wasn't shaking, it must have meant a good thing. Giggling again with the feel of Tweek's insane heartbeat pulsing through his veins, the thin blond became giddy with the thought of feeling that around his stiffening member. The boy underneath him, however, clamped his eyes shut, focusing on the anger that built up inside him, beginning to imagine that Butters was not indeed himself, but instead… Craig. He would vent through him, or so he thought, and he would be better in the morning. The both of them would be.

When the heat of Butters' skin pressed up against Tweek's own, the smaller blond let out a quiet whimper, gasping at the light touch that sent heat racing down to pool in his groin. The sharp intake of breath in turn shot through the older boy, urging him on as untrained lips made their way across Tweek's protruding collarbone. In this incredible darkness, sounds were magnified times ten, if not 100… And every little touch was intensified with the powerful electricity building in the room. Butters' fingers trailed along Tweek's chest, then down his side, pausing to pinch a nipple here; leave a love-bite there…

Where in the hell had Butters learned all of this?

It was a thought that crossed Tweek's mind several times in the minutes that passed with the sensual touches. Hadn't Butters just been the innocent little child that hadn't changed since third grade? (Well, besides coming out of the closet, but that didn't change much of anything, anyway.) His mouth moved in sinuous ways across the smaller blonde's throat, then to his jaw, eliciting soft moans of pleasure from the horribly confused boy beneath him. Tweek stiffened, though, when he felt something unfamiliar, yet blatantly obvious all the same, press itself against his thigh. And as much as he wanted to focus on making Butters into Craig for the time being, Tweek knew very well that that was not Craig's erection rubbing against him… Nor was it Craig's hand that enveloped his own surprisingly stiff member.

Oh, no. It was _all_ Butters…

And once he started moving his hand… It was all_ good._

"Ahn..! B-Butters..!" And there he went again, shuddering underneath his friend's ministrations.

"Yesss..?" The tipsy boy hissed, dangerously close to Tweek's ear. With a positively devious giggle, Butters flicked his tongue around the shell of the squirming boy's ear, nibbling on the edge just to get another sound from him. Having realized that he was pretty good at what he was doing based off of his friend's noises, Butters continued, positioning himself over Tweek so that he could grab both of their erections in one lanky hand and begin rocking, getting the much needed friction between the two. Ohh, yes. This is what they needed.

Tweek's hips bucked up with the sudden switch of friction, and he let out a lengthy moan, completely forgetting where they were in the first place. Letting himself rest on Tweek's chest, Butters smacked his free hand over the blonde's mouth, not having quite forgotten that there were possible bystanders who could quite easily hear them if they were too loud.

"Pff-ssshhhhh-ahahahaa..! Tweek! You have to be _quiet_! Gosh, someone could hear us, and we could get into t-trouble—hahahaa!" Because of the alcohol running its course in Butters' body and mind, he found Tweek's outburst both flattering and hilarious, and he couldn't hold back his own laughter in the small warning he gave to the blond. Tweek's head was already somewhere else however, and so he could only offer a small chuckle before he bucked his own hips again, wrapping his legs around the back of Butters' legs for support. With the sudden grind, the taller giggling blond could feel the bead of pre begin to trickle from his cock, and he knew he had to get inside before he ended himself here.

With a sloppy fumble to the right of the bed, Butters searched blindly for a lube bottle, a lotion bottle, hell, even a soap bottle would do for now, but sadly, he found none. With a frustrated groan, he wondered for a moment if he could try and fuck Tweek dry, but thankfully, his memory kicked in last second. If they were in his house, he would have condoms tucked away in one of the drawers for situations just as these… Though, they were never really used by him. Hadn't Tweek told him once that he kept condoms in the side drawer too, or was that his imagination? It finally occurred to Butters that any sane boy in South Park would have condoms in their drawer no matter what… Just in case.

"Butters! H-Hurry up! Nngh!" Tweek hissed, his cock pulsing with angry need. The blond writhed on the bed underneath his friend, reaching down to touch and relieve himself of the horrible pressure building up while Butters searched frantically for a condom. Finding none, he groaned, prodding Tweek's tight entrance with irritation. _Let me in,_ it said. _I want to violate you._

"I don't want to hurt you! I can't find anythi—"

"Use—nnh!—spit." Tweek interrupted, licking his own hand thoroughly before pulling Butters to him by his throbbing erection. It was the blue-eyed boy's turn to make noises, and boy was he full of them. Butters let out a low moan, shuddering as he yanked Tweek's waist to him, fingers tightening around the bony hips he had a hold on. The strength from Professor Chaos came back to him every now and then, and now appeared to be one of those times.

Amazed, and most definitely turned on by the strength that Butters was able to channel to his fingers, Tweek felt like a bit of a dirty slut as he moaned and hooked his legs around the blue-eyed boy's backside, grinding his hips hard against the other. Butters took no time to position himself at Tweek's ring of muscles, an unseen smile on his face as he nudged his way into the blond, eliciting a grunt, then a muffled moan as the boy forced himself to relax.

_Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God..!_

Tweek continued to chant the words over and over in his head as a mantra, as he let Butters slide into him little by little. It felt good. Satisfying. And when the blond was balls-deep inside, he began moving, driving both of them absolutely crazy.

"Jesus Christ!" Though Butters had not ever been on top before, and Tweek knew it, it was his sheer natural talent that awed the shuddering blond as he felt the slick movement inside of him.

'_Haha,'_ he thought. _'Look what you're missing out on, Craig. Look what you could be doing to me.'_ A sick little grin spread over his trembling mouth, though it went unseen in the intense darkness. _'You could be the one pounding me. But no. I'm letting Butters do it. Because you're a damn pussy who doesn't even know how to deal with his own emotions! You know you love me! Why won't you tell me?!'_ And with that final thought, tears sprung to Tweek's eyes as Butters began to pant, speeding the rhythm up steadily. He knew he was going to peak soon, but no one would cloud his mind except the thought of Eric shooting him those quiet glances that only he knew how to interpret.

Nothing was behind this except a mindless fuck to keep them from going insane…

No. Nothing. They were just friends…

With a few more wild thrusts, Butters came with a yelp, slamming his hips into Tweek's own, allowing the blond to mutter Craig's name instead of his. It was okay. Butters didn't care. He would have screamed Cartman's name if it weren't for the sheer amount of electricity jolting through his body at the moment. He thought it, instead. Not shortly after, Tweek's cock twitched and he found himself crying out every time a wave of his orgasm hit him, his hot seed splattered across his lower abdomen. Butters collapsed on top of his friend, sweaty and now sticky, and it made him frown as he pulled out his deflated member carefully, cringing at the quiet squelching noise it made as it slid from Tweek's shuddering body.

"Oh… It's all sticky…" Butters despised sticky things, but despite the fact, he flopped down next to his blonde friend, slowly coming down from his coital high. Slowly snaking his hand around to grab the other, Tweek smiled a little, giving Butters' hand a tight squeeze as a thank you. His arm twitched as he came down from his own high, and he giggled a little bit at the feeling of the fluids leaking between his legs.

"Y-You don't suppose there's a—nngh—shower somewhere here, d-do you?" he asked, still a little tipsy from earlier in the evening.

"Well, gee… I don't really know, but it's a house, right? It _should_ have a shower…" Butters giggled, returning the small squeeze to Tweek's hand. Sitting up slowly, he swung his feet over the side of the bed and shrugged. "What's the harm in tryin' to find one?" The twitching blond shrugged as well, standing in the abysmal darkness.

It would take awhile to find the door in this room, but Tweek thought it was better if they found it before everything on them dried.

Then the people who found them might not think that they were just friends.

And that was most definitely the case.


End file.
